11 hours behind the wheel on vast open roads gives you a lot of time to contemplate… makes me think truckers could be the most brilliant philosophers.
Today as I was strolling across the New Mexico desert I was listening to one of my favorite mixes labeled “Rocker Gals.” Ms. Terri Hendrix of San Marcos, TX (whose town I passed yesterday as I drove the vast state) singing wisely of how Life’s A Song.
“Lately I’ve been counting up all my days good and bad.
I found that joy is more than doubled of all the trouble I’ve had.”
She sings to me as I roll on over another mile of open space. It is true for me my days lately have been REALLY good. I am grateful for so many things – my book being printed and in hand, a new found adventure in paddleboarding… Every night I have a rock I turn and kiss with my gratitudes for another day of life and in the morning I do the ritual again turning to the lighter side of the rock. This simple action gives me a deep sense of joy, knowing I have made it to another day. Every day I have a choice: how will I live it? Will I be foul or sweet? Truly I can flip the switch either way as my feet hit the floor for the first time each morning.
Back in my car under the blazing sun I switch playlists and hit ‘shuffle’ a favorite song by Lenny Kravitz starts. If I were a real rock star I would want to be as sexy and soulful as him. There is just something about this guy.
“If you want it you can change your world today.”
He’s right. While I ate dinner tonight here in Phoenix I read one of the featured Athleta athlete’s post about – “Do something that scares you everyday.” [I posted the link here] It was a quote from Eleanor Roosevelt and I remember once seeing this same line tagged under a photo of a small girl in the mouth of a cement shark in a playground. She stood with her fingers clawing the air. I imagined her open mouth indicating a roar.
Putting out this book has been scarring me for a while like a shark in the gulf waters where I am learning to paddleboard. I’ve been grateful to have an e-mail from someone every day telling me how much they enjoy reading my story since I did the launch event in Panama City last week. One local yogi wrote me today saying she had already read the whole thing and could relate to so much. It was even spurring her to consider a trip around the world to India.
Just over a year ago when I approached my co-writer, Robin Renee to help me organize and fill in the gaps of my writings…I knew I couldn’t wait any longer. The stories of my life I had put together over several years needed to go somewhere. I watched other authors come out with ideas near mine. I could wish all I wanted to, to somehow be discovered without putting my self really out there. Though I knew it really wasn’t going to happen that way. I needed to get out of the waiting line of someday.
Once that process began I had to think of what next. Being on this book tour scares me. I have been working for almost six months on creating this portion of it. The whole process a total leap of faith. Once I started putting the pieces together there was no turning back. I’ve made promises to show up. And for me that means wholeheartedly with every bit of my creative self. I am soooo looking forward to seeing my friends of years past and making new ones on this new journey. Simultaneously I am as nervous about it as I am completing the 400m in my upcoming first triathlon.
Even though I hold it all with a bit of trepidation I pray tonight as I lay my head to sleep: May it all lead to me finding more ways to scare myself into a life filled with so many things to be grateful for my rock becomes worn with my lip marks from my kisses.